you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize