4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
