1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize