He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
