Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
