ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
