at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He passed out mid-signature
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
