I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
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