I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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