Me too!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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