From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
