When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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