they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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