Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
