TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
