Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
