it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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