If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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