that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
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I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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