I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize