she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
