Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
