i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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