Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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