she was so not down for the gang bang
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
