champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
