You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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