Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dicks are not precious.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
