U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
