when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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