a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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