I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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