I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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