she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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