Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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