Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
