Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
tell me about the eggs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
