Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
