He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
