I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
