I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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