Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
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He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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