i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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