i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
