went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
