so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
