just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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