I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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