im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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