So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
