This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
