so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
