I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
