I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
