Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
