uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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