if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
