I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
