We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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