I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
