Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
