are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
