you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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